Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize