that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Sext me about skeletons
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
