Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
