so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
