I wanna passion pit in your ass
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
