PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
