ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
