Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
