you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
