It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
