I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
