Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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