So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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