I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize