I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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