So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize