Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
