Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
