She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
