He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize