She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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