either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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