haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
