"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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