If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
