I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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