if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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