She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
