I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
