just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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