im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
