): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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