you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Randomize
