Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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