Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
