Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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