Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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