Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
