i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
