Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
