Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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