My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
