I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
