dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
