He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
