Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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