I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize