Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
