i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
