Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
