Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Found the puke drawer
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
