just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
