Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
