I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
