Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
