I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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