Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
be right there i have to get my cape
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
